Shackled to My Business and Starved for Momentum
I’m a homeschool mom of two, working from home. The position I have now is eating me from the inside out. I’ve tried many times to start my own thing because I feel trapped in this business—a business I built with my ex 10 years ago. It has supported us financially over the years, but now it feels suffocating.
The partners we brought on have drained the joy out of anything related to the business. I have to force myself to do my work. I’ve been threatened that if I start something else, it means I’m “taking my eye off the current business” and that somehow I no longer deserve to be paid. Every time I start to build my own thing, guilt creeps in, and I end up sinking my time back into this job instead of my own business.
When frustration boils over, I pivot toward a different business idea—something that might replace my income faster. Today is one of those days. Everything seems to be going wrong. I know there are things going right, but the big picture feels like it’s tilting toward wrong. Money is tight. I can’t seem to get solid footing in my new business.
I feel like a failure—as a mother, as a businessperson, as a partner. I know a lot of submissions here end with “this is how I overcame,” but I don’t have that in me today. I know, in theory, I should focus on gratitude, but right now I just can’t. I have this giant lump in my throat and tears welling in my eyes.
I’m hardworking. I’m willing to do whatever it takes. I just can’t seem to find the right place to put my energy. I’m usually the optimistic one—the person who believes the good thing is right around the bend—but today I feel trapped in the cycle. I’m lost.
Can anyone relate? How did you get firmly rooted in your power again and start seeing progress in your life? I know this isn’t the end, but it’s so easy to get discouraged. I’ve been down this road before—rocky, dusty, leading to a dead end. I need a new path. A highway. I need to do something completely different… but what?
Usually, I have that one good thing to anchor to, but now I can’t find it. I feel like I’m out here all alone.
The problem:
I seem to be going in circles, shackled by my current position and my own lack of momentum.
